Room 507, Friday Evening

[not_in_the_book]

Ronan stared blankly at his computer screen, trying to type an email to Nita. He still hadn't managed to tell her much of what was going on at Fandom, especially about certain idiot boys who couldn't deal with their own emotions.

Not that Ronan was angry or anything.

After once again spending far too long staring at the blinking cursor, Ronan turned away, starting the kettle to make himself a pot of tea. The door was open, and people were welcome to stop by.


[OOC: Open! Feel free to stop by and bug Ronan. I'll be out for an hour or two later on, but other than that I'm around all night, and should be up pretty late.]

[ETA: Thread with Johnny includes discussion of NWS material.]

Comments

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

Yeah, he needed to get some things out of the way.

He was there, leaning a broad shoulder against the frame of Ronan's door, and he didn't say anything because his look pretty much summed up his mood. He was tense and brooding and really just didn't want to be here.

[not_in_the_book]

Ronan gave Johnny a look as he turned to him. "Hey," he said, after a long moment, anger and frustration simmering beneath the surface.


[ooc: Sorry this took so long! Something came up and I'll longer getting home than I'd planned. Shall we continue tomorrow?]

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

"Hey," Johnny replied, still standing there. "We need to talk."

(ooc: I am going to be around for a little while yet unless you are headed to bed, then sp is totally love!)

[not_in_the_book]

"Yeah, we do." Ronan is not inclined to be charitable towards Johnny at the moment, not unless he makes some kind of big gesture.

... He might be willing to soften a bit if Johnny tries to actually discuss why he reacted to strongly, but, hey. Not so much expecting that.

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

Expectations were riding on the wind tonight. Johnny had none. He didn't expect Ronan to have any either.

"Can I come in?"

(tired, going to bed, sp is love)

[not_in_the_book]

Ronan nodded, not saying anything, as he turned back to his computer and waved vaguely in the direction of his bed.

"Come to tell me I'm clearly not worth any thought or consideration? Or have you just come to be an idiot at me again?"

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

Johnny sat down, knees apart, hands clasped together between them. "I was wanting to talk civilliy, but if you don't think you can handle that, tell me now."

[not_in_the_book]

Ronan shook his head as he turned to face Johnny, spinning his chair. "Sorry, that was... I shouldn't have said that. But you can understand why I did, right?"

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

Johnny shrugged a shoulder, "No. Not really if you want to know the truth. You want things to be easy for me, Ronan. And the fact is, they're not."

[not_in_the_book]

And that would be Ronan, looking away, unable to meet Johnny's eyes.

"... Y'know, if I'd spent two seconds to think about it, I'd actually have understood that a while ago. It's not far different from what I was dealing with not that long ago." Ronan shrugged. "It's just that I see you one way with me, and I feel like you..." He looked up now, to meet Johnny's eyes. "I thought I was more than just an easy lay, Johnny. I mean, I thought that we were friends, at least. I just wish you'd come and talked to me after the radio thing, rather than shutting me out. I mean, if anyone was willing to listen, it should have been me."

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

Johnny couldn't meet Ronan's eyes after that, it was hard to explain how he felt because he wasn't sure himself.

"You're right," he said low after a few moments of silence. "I should have come to talk to you. The thing is, I didn't know what to say, or what I would have said. I can't figure this thing out for myself let alone try to explain it to you." He rubbed his hands along his thighs. "You are my friend. I...I never considered you an easy lay. God, you got to know I do my best to not even think about it!"

[not_in_the_book]

Ronan got up and moved to the bed, sitting near Johnny but leaving a decent distance between them. "I'm sorry," he said, after a moment; his eyes dropped to stare at his hands, sitting in his lap. "I was really hurt on Monday, and I let it cloud my thinking." He shrugged, looking up again. "I should have considered what you were thinking. I just... it's not easy for you, but I have to wonder how much of that is you making it more difficult for yourself."

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

"How could you be hurt? How much am I just eye candy and a lay for you, Ronan? You've not expressed anything other than that to me aside from the easy friendship. What am I supposed to think?" Johnny looked sideways at him. "I will admit to making it more difficult for myself. If I don't get something, I don't think about it, Ronan. And it always comes back to snap me in the ass, or in this case, smack me in the head."

[not_in_the_book]

"Because you wouldn't talk to me!" Ronan was getting a little exasperated. "Powers, Johnny, you..." He shook his head. "You're my friend, Johnny, and as far as I could tell at the time you were throwing me aside. You wouldn't even talk to me, when I'm probably the only person in a position to actually understand. And you think that wouldn't hurt? That it wouldn't hurt to just be ignored by a friend?

"You need to start thinking about this, Johnny. You need to figure out your answers. Or someone else is going to get hurt."

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

Johnny was starting to get pissy about all of this. Standing, he began to pace back and forth in front of Ronan. "I didn't mean it like that! Hell, Ronan, the first time, the only time, we we're influenced! Glitter, spells, the whole freakin' nine yards. Not to mention that I was overcome by some radom Fandomness! Are you forgetting that?" He sighed deeply. "I'm not saying I regret it, I don't. But I can't help but wonder if I would have made a seperate choice that night." But what about the other night, the one that was mentioned on the radio?

He stopped and stood still before Ronan, asking him in a low, husky voice, "Who is someone else?"

[not_in_the_book]

"Okay, Fandom weirdness the first time, sure. But what about that night you asked me to stay over? Or the other time we had sex? Or, hey, the night that got talked about on radio! You can't just stand there and say, 'Oh, it's nothing, it wasn't me, it was Fandom'! Not..."

Ronan took a deep breath, steeling himself, and continued, "If you want to stop, we can stop. But that's it. Just friends. No sex, no sleeping over, no kissing, no cuddling. I'm not going to sit here and be jerked around by you while you pretend that you're trying to figure this out. Because that someone else could be anyone, Johnny. Me, you, any one of the countless girls you're dating... Someone is going to get hurt, Johnny, if you don't figure this out."

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

"We had sex once. One time, Ronan. And I..." Damn but this was frustraing. Johnny ran his hand back over his face and through his hair and turned away, thinking.

Looking down at the floor he muttered, "I'm not dating exclusively. I date to have fun, period. I've never once told anyone that I wanted more. Hell, I'm just having fun for hellsake!" He cut his eyes back at him. "Do you understand that? I'm not wanting to hurt anyone -- and why don't you clear something up for me -- you want me? You like me for more than just a casual fuck, Ronan? Or are you jerking me around, making me believe that there might be something more here than I'm seeing?"

[not_in_the_book]

Ronan stared at him. "I'm not saying you want to hurt someone! I'm saying you're going to whether you want to or not. You don't say you want more than casual dating, but how many times have you actually said that you don't? Made it clear that it's just dating, made sure that the girl you're dating doesn't think it's more?" He paused, and his voice went lower. "And I'm pretty sure I made it clear before that if you wanted more than just the sex, that it might be a possibility. I don't know, Johnny; I'm happy with the sex, and I'm happy with our friendship. Normally, anyway, it's a little frustrating right now. But yeah, if you wanted? I'd be interested in maybe trying something a little more. Maybe going on a couple of dates, something like that. Okay? Is that what you want to hear?"

His eyes went very dark. "And I'm pretty sure we had sex twice, Johnny. Unless I'm imagining the night that I blew you over against that wall."

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

"So, what? I'm just supposed to go along casually with you? Get my rocks off when I feel like it and say, 'Hey, great. Thanks man, I really needed that. You up for a movie? A little chinese?' Is that what you're talking about cause over and over I can't help but think there's got to be more involved in it than that. If I date a chick and sleep with her and I know there is going to be no relationship, then that's it. I don't keep screwing her - I wouldn't mess with her emotions like that unless it was a joint decision."

"You wanna date me? Fine. Let's have a go at it, see where it takes us." He moved to stand closer, his stance hard, tense. He wasn't going to say anything about the night Ronan went down on him. "But it won't be exclusive. You've got to know that."

[not_in_the_book]

"'See where it takes us'. Exactly. Maybe things'll work out, maybe they won't. Maybe you'll find you actually can have some kind of relationship with a guy. Or maybe not." Ronan shrugged. "And I have no illusions about this being any kind of exclusive relationship -- as long as you remember that goes both ways?"

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

Johnny nodded. However, he did wonder how it was going to pan out. He could be the jealous type -- didn't matter what he was doing or doing it with. "All right, we'll see where it takes us."

[not_in_the_book]

"Okay." Ronan shrugged. "So... have plans for tomorrow night?"

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

"Not any to speak of, no. I'm babysitting Jim's girlfriend while he's out of town, but no, I don't have anything going on." More relaxed, Johnny sat back down on Ronan's bed.

[not_in_the_book]

Ronan shrugged. "Maybe a movie, then? Or dinner, somewhere." Inside, he was going all flail-y, because this was not what he'd expected to come out of this conversation.

Although he was happy that Johnny seemed to be more relaxed, now.

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

"I'll let you decide," since he wasn't very good at making up dates with guys zomg!

And Johnny was definitely flailing inside -- this was not what he had expected either.

[not_in_the_book]

"Dinner, then," Ronan said. "Chinese sound good?"

Because Ronan had so much experience dating in general.

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

Hey, now, Johnny's dated. He's dated lots! Just, you know, guys was totally different or so he was thinking.

"Chinese sounds great. Want me to swing by here...or?"

[not_in_the_book]

Ronan considered. "Uh, why don't you swing by here, first?" he asked. "Around six?"

[fantastic-torch.livejournal.com]

"All right," Johnny stood and headed for the door. "See ya then, Ronan." With a wry grin and wink, he left.