Dealing With Other People's Trauma, Tuesday 9/30, 3rd period
Sep. 30th, 2025 07:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stykera posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
fandomhigh“One of the most important things you can do, we can do, to help other people deal with traumas and old hurts…is simply being patient,” Stark said once everyone was there.
“But before we talk more of that I hope everyone is all right after the weekend? Sometimes these weekends are hard. Sometimes wonderful. I hope none of you had anything awful happen and no unwelcome visitors. If you did, and you need someone to talk to…I am here. I can be very good at listening.” He’d also provide snacks if that would be helpful. He liked feeding people.
“I had a friend visit. I don’t have family, not family by blood, but I do have friends and one of them has come this weekend for a few years now. It’s always good to see her.” No he would not be getting into any further details thank you very much.
“She’s been patient with me for a long time. Not always. And I need it more than many people do. Sometimes, at least. For a number of reasons.” Like his many many traumas and issues. Those reasons.
“There was a time when I…had to do something very difficult and I was forced into it and I retreated into myself for what felt like forever. I think it was only a few days. Maybe even less. But my friend, Chiana, was there at the time. She made sure I was still eating. Still getting water. Still alive in spite of my own utter lack of interest in making sure I stayed alive. And later, much later, years later when I wasn’t doing well here I went home and she was the one who listened and got me to talk and was patient with me until I did finally talk about what was bothering me. Sometimes people just need time before anything else can be done. She understands that. I try to make sure I understand that.” Stark’s smile was a little sad now. “Because I know how much it helps, having someone be patient with you.”
“So,” he continued after a brief pause, “let’s talk about patience. It can be difficult and sometimes you need to know when not to be patient but that’s much more complicated. Does anyone have examples of patience with others? Or someone being patient with you? Or being patient with yourself? ANy reasons why might need to be patient or you might need not to be? Any other thoughts on patience?”
“But before we talk more of that I hope everyone is all right after the weekend? Sometimes these weekends are hard. Sometimes wonderful. I hope none of you had anything awful happen and no unwelcome visitors. If you did, and you need someone to talk to…I am here. I can be very good at listening.” He’d also provide snacks if that would be helpful. He liked feeding people.
“I had a friend visit. I don’t have family, not family by blood, but I do have friends and one of them has come this weekend for a few years now. It’s always good to see her.” No he would not be getting into any further details thank you very much.
“She’s been patient with me for a long time. Not always. And I need it more than many people do. Sometimes, at least. For a number of reasons.” Like his many many traumas and issues. Those reasons.
“There was a time when I…had to do something very difficult and I was forced into it and I retreated into myself for what felt like forever. I think it was only a few days. Maybe even less. But my friend, Chiana, was there at the time. She made sure I was still eating. Still getting water. Still alive in spite of my own utter lack of interest in making sure I stayed alive. And later, much later, years later when I wasn’t doing well here I went home and she was the one who listened and got me to talk and was patient with me until I did finally talk about what was bothering me. Sometimes people just need time before anything else can be done. She understands that. I try to make sure I understand that.” Stark’s smile was a little sad now. “Because I know how much it helps, having someone be patient with you.”
“So,” he continued after a brief pause, “let’s talk about patience. It can be difficult and sometimes you need to know when not to be patient but that’s much more complicated. Does anyone have examples of patience with others? Or someone being patient with you? Or being patient with yourself? ANy reasons why might need to be patient or you might need not to be? Any other thoughts on patience?”
